THE AFTERLIFE OF LI JIANTONG 自在魂

唱：Sings:

妈妈是你吗？你穿着黑衣， 苍白的笑容看起象个鬼魂， 我浑身冰冷惊奇， 四周寂静， 如同坟墓， 她的手将我抱起。 冷啊，冷气缠绕，她冲我大笑。 妈妈妈妈，明天你在哪儿？

Mother, is that you?  You are wearing all black, pale like a ghost, smiling the pale smile of a ghost.  I feel shocked and cold, round me silence, silence of tomb, her hands are holding me up.  Ah cold, cool air haunts me, and she laughs out loud!  Mother, mother, where will you be tomorrow?

 

明天是你的葬礼，你将被火化，将从这世界彻底消失，进入永恒，不再属于我。浑身冰冷惊奇， 四周寂静，手足难动，是妈妈将我抱起，冷气缠绕，她的微笑寒气逼人，妈妈在狂笑！

人哪，死后有灵，妈妈你在抱着我，我浑身冰冷惊奇，真后悔没有在你临走抱着你。应该是我抱着你。应该是你在我怀里离去。 

Tomorrow will be your funeral.  You will be cremated, disappearing into eternity, and no longer mine.  I feel shocked and cold; round me the silence, I cannot move. It’s mother who holds me up, shrouding me in cold air, her smiles chilling me to the bone, laughing her wild laugh!  

 

The soul lives on after dies.  Mother you are holding me, ah, I feel shocked and cold; why didn’t I hold you before you die.  It should be me, holding you, you in my arms before you die!

难道你不后悔， 你曾是我们生活的标准，为了一个捉不住的真理， 你一生斗争。我感到浑身冰冷惊奇，你的大笑凄凉，但你似乎不再悲伤。你的魂灵如此陌生！

How can you feel no regret, you were our ex-ample of someone living for truth. You give your whole life. I feel shocked and cold; your laugh sounds without hope, but you no longer seem sad.  Your soul seems so strange to me!

 

真陌生！往事痛心，你给了我最悲哀强烈的母爱，我浑身冰冷惊奇；怎么可能你已经忘记那十四年与世隔绝的寂静！

How strange!  The painful past, when you gave me the strongest and saddest love! I feel shocked and cold; how can you forget the silence and loneliness of fourteen years!

 

告诉我你生前无法说出的秘密！我浑身冰冷惊奇，你竟然变成一个狂笑着的鬼魂自由自在，完全不是我那过去的母亲！

Tell me the secrets that in live you could not tell! I feel shocked and cold; you have really turned into a carefree ghost, howling with laughter, not the mother you were once!

 

女儿不懂得你，浑身冰冷惊奇；你这个敢放弃的勇士！

Your daughter doesn’t understand you. She feels shocked and cold; you were a daring warrior who dared to give up!

 

我浑身冰冷惊奇，你的灵魂飞翔，让我重新见到你。

I feel, I feel shocked and cold; it is your soaring that has brought you back to me.

 

母亲魂:

你看我力大无比， （女儿同时：妈妈妈妈。） 

一下子就将你抱起，因为我是鬼魂，哈。（女儿同时： 你一生冤屈 ） 尸体该废弃，哈恩恩，灵魂动如飞呵，（女儿同时：我仍旧伤心 ） 我活着时就想多抱着你。

Mother’s ghost:

 

You see my great strength …(Daughter simultaneously: mother, mother),  I can hold you up in one breath, because I am a ghost. Ha!

(Daughter simultaneously: You have been wronged) 

 

Abandon what’s dead, ha en en, to let the soul take flight. 

 

(Daughter simultaneously: but I still sad) How I wanted to hold you when I was alive.

 

现在伸手就用寒冷将你缠绕起，我呀，临死时没能等着你，（女儿同时：神秘的历史） 没有来得及，我就悄悄离开了你

 

Now just by extending my hand, I can shroud you in chilling cold.  But I could not wait for you when I died. 

(Daughter simultaneously: what a story)

 I had no time, so I left you quietly.

 

人临死如梦，我梦中听见你亡父的呼声，应声寻去，（女儿同时：多神秘）

 我如同陷入水中，挣扎飞出，欲腾空，腾空太高太远，迷了后路。（女儿同时：你曾经坚信）

 

Mother’s ghost: Dying’s like dreaming, I dreamt your father was calling me, and I followed his voice,

(Daughter simultaneously: How mysterious,)

like sinking in water, I struggled to fly out, longing for air, the air was too high and too far, and I lost my way back. 

 

 

人也变轻，心也变轻，我就离了人生，没有回程，今天特意赶来看看你，我的女儿我的女儿哦呀，我的女. 

 

I became lighter in body and heart, and I left this life and on to a road of no return.  

(Daughter simultaneously: How you once were)

For you I am coming back today, my daughter, my daughter, oh ya, my daughter. 

 

是为了让你轻松的活下去，啊哈呀哈哈，不要再伤心。我活着时是在（女儿同时： 你曾经放弃） 等呀等呀等呀等呀等等等等死， 放弃了写作，放弃争论，不起床不出门

 

So that you can carry on with a light heart, (ah ha ya), be sad no more.  (Yahaha) 

 

 (Daughter simultaneously: you once gave up)

When I was alive

I was waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting to die,

 by giving up writing, giving up arguing, staying indoors and in bed

 

十四年整，把自己活埋在回忆之中。我想你的父亲，那张床就是我们的坟。我闭上眼睛（女儿同时：谁能摆脱） 看到他的灵魂在哭呵哭呵， 我们那一代人呵，那悲壮人生；真理随风消失，到处是坟。

 

For fourteen years, 

I buried myself alive in memories.  I missed your father, and that bed was our shared tomb.  

(Daughter simultaneously: who can let go)

When I closed my eyes, 

I saw his soul crying, (crying crying,  oh, our generation, with our sad heroic lives; 

truth blown away, tombs all around.  

 

冤尸难辨认，事实难清；多少人多少命呵多少字多少涂抹多少祭祀多少疯狂多少沉默多少犹豫多少错杀多少告密， （女儿同时：沉重的命运） 一生写作被销禁，我曾是个悲伤的母亲。

 

Corpses hard to recognize, truth hard to tell; So many people so many lives so many words so much smearing, so much mourning, so much madness, so much silence, 

(Daughter simultaneously: Fate is heavy)

so much hesitation, so many wrongful killings, so many betrayals. 

All my life my writing was banned, I was a pathetic mother.

 

女儿： 我一生想逃避， 我从小怕斗争 ，

Daughter: I wanted all my life to run a-way from fights,

 

父亲魂：啊

Father’s soul: ah

 

母亲魂：不要再想过去

Mother’s ghost: think no more of the past

 

女儿： 但你们的悲剧， 使我回避不能。 

Daughter: but seeing your tragic fate how can I turn a way?

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: my beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：我听见你父亲

Mother’s ghost: I hear your father

 

女儿： 那前辈的秘密 隐藏多少历史真情，

Daughter: The secrets of our elders, conceal so many truths.

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul : My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：他等我太长久

Mother’s ghost: He’s waited too long for me

 

女儿： 你无法说出来，最后彻底放弃。

Daughter: They did not let you speak, so you gave up completely.

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：他在天堂等待

Mother’s ghost: He waiting in heaven

 

女儿： 你欲言真实，一生遭禁止。

Daughter: You had so much to say, but weren’t allowed to speak.

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：我必须赶上去

Mother’s ghost: I have to catch him up

 

女儿： 谁都会希望，人活着见光明。

Daughter: We all yearn for the light, while we are still alive

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：魂灵不怕路远

Mother’s ghost:  Souls do not fear distance

 

女儿：告诉我什么事情，值得灾祸一生？

Daughter: How did your life become a series of devastations? 

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲魂：我还回来看你。

Mother’s ghost: I’ll come to see you again 

 

女儿：可怜个历史作家，屡屡遭到暴禁，

Daughter: A writer of the truth, forbidden time and again. 

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：我们的动作轻盈

Mother’s ghost: Our movements are light.

 

女儿：现在成了鬼魂，却比我高兴。

Daughter: And now you are a ghost, you’re happier than me.

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：你想到我我就来

Mother’s ghost: Think of me and I am here. 

 

女儿：我以为人变鬼魂都要报仇雪恨。

Daughter: I though that human beings turned into ghosts for vengeance

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：阴间和天堂不同

Mother’s ghost: Heaven and purgatory are not the same

 

女儿： 没想到死亡比生命更宽容。

Daughter: How strange to find the dead more tolerance than the living.

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：阴间鬼天堂魂

Mother’s ghost: ghosts are in purgatory, souls in heaving.

 

女儿： 想着她我怎么可能轻松

Daughter: And when I think of her how can I feel at ease?

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: My beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：你父亲在呼唤

Mother’s ghost: Your father is calling.

 

女儿：难道人奋斗一生的事情

Daughter: How could one fight for something for all lifetime long.

 

父亲魂：爱妻

Father’s soul: my beloved wife

 

母亲鬼魂：我会来参加我的葬礼

Mother’s ghost: I ‘ll come to my own funeral

 

女儿：瞬间化为空？瞬间化为空。

Daughter: And see it turn to nothing, turn to nothing. 

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                                                                                               摘自第一場 from act 1. 

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